New Year New Goals

So last year I did a good job of incorporating exercise into my daily schedule...until I got deathly ill for two months. Gah. I am fully healthy again and taking baby steps towards healthy living. Here are my goals so far:

1. Drink more water. 64oz. a day (2 water bottles full--this will be a big change!). 

2. Track food (using Spark People)

3. Exercise 3 days a week to start

Other goals include:

4. Making a plan for dinner each night and sticking to it

5. Getting back into daily Bible reading/devotions
6. Less tv for the kids and more learning activities/walks/library etc.

Being so sick, and having sick kids for most of the last 3 months has really thrown us off track. It's so difficult to stick to rules when everyone isn't themselves! Hopefully we're past the bulk of our health issues and can get things back to normal around here!

an open letter

dear motivation,
where the heck are you?
i desperately need you in my life.
love,
shelly

I'm so thankful for the example of Paul, in the Bible. What a blessing and encouragement to know that God can use anyone for His purposes--even somebody who persecuted early Christians eventually spread the Word more than anyone else ever!

I pray that He will use me to encourage others!

1 Timothy 1:15-16
15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.

This Isn't About You

I told you I'd forgiven

but I can't seem to forget

the years of hurt, neglect and pain

did more damage than I could admit

I wanted nothing but your love, acceptance, friendship, peace

but all i got for years in turn was negativity and grief

The past has been smoothed over now

wiped clean within your mind

i can not help but feel it's sting

every year around this time

I may be full of smiles and hugs and graceful conversation

but inside still lurks the pain and hurt

of our awful confrontations

I pray the Lord will heal my heart and take the ache away

I know we're not perfect here on Earth

And you reacted out of hurt,

misapprehension,

misguided anger,

misplaced aggression,

mistaken behavior,

that the past is rose colored in your eyes

and I try to see that when I'm by your side

and I try to pretend that it's all ok,

that I haven't been broken beyond what I could take

but the hurt is hiding within me still

and though i bare you no ill-will

and though i love you with the part

of my heart

that's still whole

I'm not sure I'll ever really be over it

and I'm not sure you'll ever really know.

And maybe, just maybe

it's better that way.

Work In Progress

Pictured here, my dining room table:

As you can see, it's a mess.

Odds and ends, pieces, parts, leavings, important and non-essential cluttering up my work space.

I always get a little overwhelmed in the middle of a large project-especially a project rather outside my comfort zone--a project that will be viewed by many ladies in our church at our Ladies Bible Study Kick-Off dinner this week.

I'm also in charge of decorations (which I am foolishly hand-crafting)--tableware, centerpieces (which I will also be making--edible centerpieces...mmmm), etc.

I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew and as I look at this pile of unfinished stuff-

-my work in progress, I feel like it will never be finished.

Sometimes I feel the same way about myself--I'm such a work in progress--I am introverted and self-centered--I didn't want to say "yes" to this big project--but I did and in working on it little by little I have been blessed by a million little details.

These details won't matter to anyone-no one else will see them or know they are there--but they are and that is what matters.

I prayed that God would guide me as I spent church funds--that the work of my hands might bless others--but I find myself being blessed most of all by the little provisions He has made.

He knew what project I would make before I decided (from my pile of 5 test runs), He knew that I would find exactly what I needed, for a good price at each store I went to.

He knew exactly how much I would need of each material and has provided it.

Sometimes, for me, the biggest blessings in life lay in the details--the little things.

The little things, most of all, show me how much He cares.

The little things surround me and I am thankful for it.

I just did...

the *30 day burn?* (I think--w/Jillian from the biggest loser) with Amelie.

She did the entire work out with me and took time to tell me I was doing the exercises wrong and corrected my form.

Maybe she'll grow up to be the next Jillian. =)

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged?

Why should the shadows come?

Why should my heart feel lonely

And long for heaven and home?

When Jesus is my portion!

A constant friend is He!

His eye is on the sparrow

And I know He watches me.

*Merrr*-phy's Law

I just got all ready to go for a nice early morning run with Maeve and upon dragging my stroller to the door realized that it's pouring.

The end.

Freedom From Those Whirly Twirly Days

Do you ever feel like you live in a little whirlwind sometimes?

I do.

I've always been a very non-schedule-y-lay-low-quiet-time type of person and mother but lately our home is revolving around the busy-ness of my sweet Amelie.

Pre-pre-school has been wonderful and fun but involves juggling Maeve's nap and although it all usually works out well, the pick up/drop off time can be a little stressful.

Bible study is wonderful--but is interrupted by the pick up/drop of time of preschool.

Wednesdays are stacked--preschool, jetting to dance class, Awana--it's our marathon day.

We have peaceful Mondays and Wednesdays but here I am, smack in the middle of the week feeling a little tired and a little defeated.

I'm the type of person who needs lots of peace and lots of quiet and lots of predictability to feel peaceful and centered--so this schedule has thrown me for a little loop!

Reading through my study (again, I know) tonight I came upon a verse that freed me from a bit of the burden I feel..

I just love it when God's word helps you to focus on the things you're really supposed to be focusing on.

Titus, an epistle by Paul, includes instructions for the young women/mothers in the church and reads:

Titus 2:4-5

...Love your husbands and your children, be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to your own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

I'm feeling a little simplification coming on...a little more love my husband and my babies and a little less runrunrun.

A little more good obedience and a little less wacky worry, whirlwind cleaning, obsessive blogging (well...we'll see about the blogging--a girl can't lose all the vices in one day).

The Motto Of My Life

I found a little saying that perfectly sums up the direction that my life has taken and will take.

It fell on my head Chicken Little style

(literally, a plaque bearing the inscription fell off of a shelf in my childhood home and smashed my brain)

and I've never been the same.

{Head trauma has a way of changing you}

I remember at that time in my life I was trying to figure out where to go to college--I had visited many and liked a handful and in my head wanted to pick either

a) the school closest to home (houghton),

b) the school with most of my friends heading there (messiah)

c) the school where I could find a husband (BBC) ha! just kidding on that last one =)

But when I visited Cedarville I *hearted* it so much that I longed to go there even though I knew no one going there and it was 10 hours away

(that's far for a girl whose favorite place to be is home).

When that sign hit me on the head and I read its words

I knew.

I knew that I was going to Cedarville because:

"The Will Of God Will Never Lead You Where The Grace Of God Cannot Keep You"

I'm so glad I followed His leading and headed so far away--and though I've never returned home to stay (since 1997) God has always given me a home away from home--right in the palm of His hand.

In Bible study last week NLD used my life quote to illustrate the truth which combats one of Satan's many lies--

One thing I struggle with a Mom is the fact that my sweet babies don't have an off switch--I could be totally famous for saying:

"I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!"

Which, ironically enough, was the title of one part of a chapter in this book

(which has really opened my eyes btw).

You see-when I'm feeling like I can't take it anymore--I probably can't.

But you know Who can?

That's right!

God and His grace--it's always sufficient for any trouble I'm going through or trouble-maker that I'm dealing with!

When I feel like I can't correct another outburst, keep the peace, channel destructive energy into something constructive, hold my tongue, keep my temper--

I have a help

the grace of God--it's always just a memory verse, a prayer, a plea for help away.